Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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