why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
