Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Actions speak louder than pants.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
