Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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