I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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