I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
