Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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