She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
