There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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