Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
