bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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