She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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