I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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