halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
