so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize