My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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