What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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