summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
