did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
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If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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