no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
