It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
