Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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