It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
