You just made me feel so damn special
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
