Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
