Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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