got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
