I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
