I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
