More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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