There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
