Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
