I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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