my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
