If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
