my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So many bounce houses so little time
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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