Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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