Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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