is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
