i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
