Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize