Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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