New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
