based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
