I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
