haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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