so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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