i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
