We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
