that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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