Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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