I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's official drugs can't kill me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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