idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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