i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
