i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
