HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
