bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
